I wore niqab (face veil) for the first time today!!!!

This is an entry from my old blog about the day I first wear niqab on 10/29/07

Asalamualikum Wa Rahmatulillahi Wa Barakathu

Ok so I wore niqab for the first time in my life today. And all black at that! Here is my view from the inside:

So my DH and I decided that we were going to eat out tonight so he picked me up after praying Maghrib prayers at the masjid. When he came in I was all dressed and I guess he didn't know I was really going to start wearing it today so he was surprised and cheesin' from ear to ear when he saw me. By the time we left for dinner it was dark so none of my neighbors saw me. We went to Denny's and the first thing I experienced was stares. The chef was staring, the customers in line were staring but for the most part it was the same stares I usually get when I wear jilbab and hijab without niqab. The waitress/greeter/cashier who was too busy to be concerned said that we would have to wait a while for dinner because she was the only one there so we ended up leaving that Denny's. I noticed myself talking a little louder than I usually do because I wanted to make sure that people would hear and understand me so that was cool because I tend to speak softly normally. As you might know it is not recommend for a woman to speak in a soft and alluring as it may perceived as a sign of flirtation. I also noticed that I would have to communicate through speech and body language a lot more as people would not be able to read my facial expressions. So I waved and said goodbye.

At the second Denny's we were seated immediately as it was not busy. The waitress and server were polite, no unusual staring expect for the people behind the counter or customers who were not aware that I saw them. The server actually asked me about the henna art that was decorating the back of my hand. She thought it was a real tattoo and wanted to know if it hurt so I explained to her what henna was. I thought that was interesting as she didn't ask about the niqab I suppose she wasn't as intrigued by it as much as she was intrigued by the henna lol.

Eating dinner was a challenge at first. I decided to cut my sandwich to make it more manageable to hold since i had to hold the niqab with my left hand while eating with my right hand. I figured out that holding it taut was the best way because layers underneath wouldn't drop down onto the food in my hand or get in the way. Eating the French fries wasn't difficult except for when got over confident and ended up stabbing myself in the chest with a ketchup covered French fry. From watching other niqabi I had learned that drinking is best done with a straw so thats what i did. When I wanted to take sips I just put the entire glass under the niqab and had my fill.

We left Denny's and went to Walmart to pick up a few things and there I noticed more of the same thing. STARING! but its cool though cause I'm a people watcher myself lol. When we pulled up it was sooo funny the person in front of us was leaving and they turned on their headlights but then suddenly turned it off and waited till they backed out before turning them on again. It didn't know what to make of that . Were they surprised or being polite maybe both. As we were walking in to Walmart there was big tall man at the door who saw us and said "Whoa! you Muslim" I nodded the DH said "yeah" and then the guy stepped back. That hadn't happened before usually people who ask then engage in conversation. Maybe he was a bouncer for "Club Walmart" (ok that was a bad joke whatever!)

So we walked around Walmart one man with his family and a friend were snickering and when we got close he asked DH about his outfit (he was wearing colorful African outfit) and where he got it from. He told him it was a gift at which point the man proceeded to tell him it was "beautiful, helps him to be seen at night" (that sounded a bit tart to me) but then he said something like "which i need with my job at night". I think he was a trucker as his friend picked up on that cue and began a conversation about truck driving at night and people cutting you off. Other than that the my first day (err night) out in niqab was not unusual compared to what I experience when wearing jilbab and hijab or when I use to just wear hijab. I did feel less shy and more confident than usual about my apperance. Maybe because I know that people aren't judging me by my look but by my attitude, the way I carry myself and my conversation. People still treat me very respectfully and politely which I must say was a surprising bonus I was given when I first started wearing hijab regularly last year, Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allah). Will I continue? I dunno I still feel that same first time apprehension and jitters I felt when I first wore hijab. And all those silly fears have returned but Inshallah (Allah willing) I will be confident enough to stick with it for the right reasons.

P.S: I read this really good article that gave me the inspiration to finally do it. I'm still absorbing it all. Its here: http://muttaqun.com/niqab.html

4

Who Am I or Who Have I Become

In the name of God, the most Compassionate, the most Merciful.

In the past five year by the leave of Allah I have become a better Muslim than I was in the previous 5 years after taking my Shahada (Deceleration of Faith). Like many things in life it sometimes takes a wakeup call in the form of loss or tragedy for us to realize that we are really not living our lives the way our Creator expects us to.

It all began on February 16th, 2000. The day I bowed before the Lord of the Universe and admitted that He was the One and Only Allah, and that He had no partners and no sons no daughters, and that he had sent messengers to guide all of mankind and Muhammad(Peace be Upon him) was the last in a line of many.

However even thought I said and believed the words I wasn't really ready to practice it. I feared loss of family, friends, financial support, everything. So I hid myself away from my Muslim brothers and sisters and continued to try to live both lives. But Allah sees everything.

I was living the "good life", I had deluded myself into believing and justifying my sins! Not only that but when I came to Islam I swore that I would not practice it half way and that was exactly what I was doing. But Allah knows everything.

Finally after losing the material things I once cherished and realizing that I could not guide others to Islam and still live in sin I gave up. I moved out of the country for 6 months and tried to resubmit myself to Allah and to the goals I had once set for myself. But there were still more stumbling blocks ahead. And Allah is the best of planners.

My first major hurdle was trying to wear hijab and interviewing for jobs. I had family members telling me that my hijab would be the death blow to any interview and it seemed so at times but I pushed on. Sometimes I would wear it, sometimes I wouldn't. I returned to the US and continued this pattern. Eventually I was hired on to a "great job" that allowed me to wear hijab. But would I be allowed to make my salat (5 daily prayers)? And Allah hears everything

Well I soon discovered that there were yet more stumbling blocks. My "great job" interfered with my salat or at least I let it. Not only that, my "great job" also was working with the haram (forbidden) as it involved working with Riba (look it up). By this time Alhamdulillah (Praise Be to Allah), He gave me a companion who never ceased to encourage me and call me everyday while I was at work to make sure I had made my salats and who constantly educated me on my deen.

December 2006 I left my job, I now work side by side with my husband in his business and he helps me as I am working on starting my own retail business as well. Allah provided a means for our risq to come from the halal and not the haram and as best as we can we try to maintain it. Alhamdulillah, He has provided a way for me to be a good wife for my husband by practicing Islam every day, to work hard at studying Islam and implementing it in my life and I am thankful to Allah that I am a SAHM(stay-at-home-muslimah/mommy) for the time being. So I say Praise be to Allah for everything he as put me through and I am thankful for the blessings and the trials he has given me.